In this article I will discuss 3 important tips to significantly speed up your internet access through BSNL Dataone broadband connection.

Tip 1: One of the major problems with BSNL Dataone Broadband connection is the DNS servers they provide by default. Most of the time they are very slow and sometimes they fail to respond. I noticed that I am starting to spend a significant amount of time in DNS resolution with Dataone connection, often it is larger than the time it takes to actually get the reponse. Here is a simple solution to significantly speed up your DNS resolution.

Open up the network connection profile and edit TCP/IP settings. In the DNS server address fields, specify the following DNS server addresses: 208.67.222.222 and 208.67.220.220
Disconnect the connection and then connect again. You are done.

This specifies third party DNS servers which are significantly faster than BSNL Dataone's DNS servers.
Tip 2: Firefox users can use FlashBlock extension to prevent downloading of Flash content by default, thereby significantly speeding up browsing experience. You can click on the placeholder icon to display the original Flash content any time. This is more of a passive tip in that reduces data usage to improve your overall experience.

Tip 3: You can try to increase your broadband bandwidth tweaking the TCP/IP parameters. The process is simplified by using TCPOptimizer, a free tool. It helped me, your mileage may vary.

Bsnl broadband is a good service, but sometimes it can be very sluggish and slow like hell. If you need to achieve the maximum potential of your broadband connection follow these simple steps.

Before we start go to speedtest.net and test your broadband speed.

1) First thing you will have to do is change your dns settings and no not open dns, 'open dns' is "crap" when you are connecting from a place like India. change your dns settings to: 218.248.240.208 & 218.248.240.135

To change your dns:
1.Double click on Local Area Connection and select Properties.
2.Select ‘Internet Protocol(TCP/IP)’ and click on Properties.
3.Select ‘Use following IP address’ and enter IP address 192.168.1.100, subnet mask 255.255.255.0, Default gatway 192.168.1.1, Preferred DNS 218.248.240.208 and Alternate DNS as 218.248.240.135


2) Next go to speedguide.net and download their tcp/ip optimiser then open up tcp/ip optimiser then write down the following settings:
General Settings tab:
Custom settings - check
Modify All Network Adapters - check
network adapter selection - your NIC
MTU - 1480
TTL - 64
TCP Receive Window - 126720
MTU Discovery - Yes
Black Hole Detect - No
Selective Acks - Yes
Max Duplicate ACKs - 2
TCP 1323 Options:
Windows Scaling - checked
Timestamps - uncheck

Advanced Settings tab:
Max Connections per Server - 10
Max Connections per 1.0 Server - 20
LocalPriority - 1
Host Priority - 1
DNSPriority - 1
NetbtPriority - 1
Lan Browsing speedup - optimized
QoS: NonBestEffortLimit - 0
ToS: DisableUserTOSSetting - 0
ToS: DefaultTOSValue - 136
MaxNegativeCacheTtl - 0
NetFailureCacheTime - 0
NegativeSOACache Time - 0
LAN Request Buffer Size - 32768
Then select "Apply Changes" and reboot to take effect

Use the following with TCP Optimizer for 512 kbps:

General Settings tab:
Custom settings - check
Modify All Network Adapters - check
network adapter selection - your NIC
MTU - 1480
TTL - 64
TCP Receive Window - 31680
MTU Discovery - Yes
Black Hole Detect - No
Selective Acks - Yes
Max Duplicate ACKs - 2
TCP 1323 Options:
Windows Scaling - uncheck
Timestamps - uncheck

Advanced Settings tab:
Max Connections per Server - 10
Max Connections per 1.0 Server - 20
LocalPriority - 1
Host Priority - 1
DNSPriority - 1
NetbtPriority - 1
Lan Browsing speedup - optimized
QoS: NonBestEffortLimit - 0
ToS: DisableUserTOSSetting - 0
ToS: DefaultTOSValue - 136
MaxNegativeCacheTtl - 0
NetFailureCacheTime - 0
NegativeSOACache Time - 0
LAN Request Buffer Size - 32768
Then select "Apply Changes" and reboot to take effect
(You can also try using SpeedConnect Internet.Accelerator which is fully-automated,to download it go to megadownload.net and type speed connect)


3) XP reserve 20% of the bandwidth :heres how to disable it
1. make sure your logged on as actually "Administrator". Do not log on with any account that just has administrator privileges.
2. start - run - type gpedit.msc
3. expand the "local computer policy" branch
4. expand the "administrative templates" branch
5. expand the "network branch"
6. Highlight the "QoS Packet Scheduler" in left window
7. in right window double click the "limit reservable bandwidth" setting
8. on setting tab check the "enabled" item
9. where it says "Bandwidth limit %" change it to read 0
10. Reboot if you want to but not necessary on some systems your all done. Effect is immediate on some systems. some need re-boot. I have one machine that needs to reboot first, the others didn't. Don't know why this is.


4) Disable unnecessary services:
Go to network connections>Local Area Connection right click select properties & disable client for microsoft networks, file & printer.......,qos packet scheduler. If you have other lan cards /adapters which is not in use. Right click it, and uncheck all of the boxes even the internet protocol(tcp/ip)
5.get spyware doctor and scan for spywares and adwares everyday.
6.get a registry fixing tool and scan for registry problems.
7.Delete temporary files regularly. Try using cc cleaner.

Now again go to speedtest.net and test your speed i am sure now you get twice the speed you got last time

Is Death an end, a beginning, or just another stage on the path?
Manjuvajra offers some Buddhist views.
Reprinted from Golden Drum 18.
‘What will happen when I die?’ is one of the most important questions a human being can ask. To find an answer is to discover a deeper meaning to life. To know that there is at least a part of oneself that survives death would provide a much wider perspective on existence, a perspective that could radically transform the way we lived our life.
On one level, the answer is simple. At some time, our complex bio-physical organism will break down. The breathing will stop, the heartbeat will cease, and gradually our body temperature will fall. After a while, the body will go stiff and start to decay. Eventually it will be burned or buried. And, for the materialist, that will be that! But perhaps there is more to us than just our physical bodies. Perhaps there is something that survives the death of the physical body, a soul’. If so, what is its nature?
The view of the Christian-Islamic tradition is that the soul of the individual comes into being at conception. It lives but one short life on this earth, and then, after divine judgment, is awarded eternal happiness in heaven, or eternal suffering in hell.
According to the Buddhist view, what happens to an individual after death is closely linked to the way he or she has acted in life. Rebirth and karma (action) are usually spoken of together. According to the Buddha’s understanding we are born into a particular type of body with a particular perception of the world because of deep-seated tendencies-inherited from our previous existence to experience reality in a particular way. These tendencies manifest as our conscious world-view develops. Whenever we act in conforrnity with such a tendency we strengthen it. When we oppose our inherited tendency we will weaken it, and may thus alter our viewpoint on reality. Our views can therefore be modified, either consciously or unconsciously, by our own efforts, or by the influence of our environment. Thus, at the end of our life, the set of views and tendencies with which we started may be substantially altered. The ’person’ who dies could be quite different from the ’person’ who was born. Then, although the body dies, that bundle of tendencies survives and, after a certain period of time - some say that it is instantaneous and some say the period is many years - creates’ for itself a new body.
A crucial element of this teaching, which distinguishes it from those held by Hindus and some heretical Christian sects, is that the element of the individual that precedes birth and survives death is not a fixed and permanent entity. The habitual tendencies - the patterns developed and modified by actions in the course of this life are passed onto the next, and nothing else. There is no fixed core that can be called a ’soul’ or an ’I’. The ’I’ that we experience is actually our awareness of this complex set of habitual tendencies which have formed themselves into a sort of knot. Until Enlightenment is reached the knot always exists, but its constituent contents can change. It is this ’knot’ that passes from one life to the next.
In the scriptures of the three main branches of Buddhism there are many references to the principle of rebirth. In the earliest Pali scriptures, the Buddha speaks of his recollection of his own previous births on the eve of his Enlightenment, and of his ability to see the arising and passing away of other beings. On a number of occasions Ananda asked the Buddha where a certain person who had died would be reborn, and the Buddha was able to answer. In the Sanskrit scriptures of the Mahayana there are numerous references to the number of lifetimes that a Bodhisattva traverses on the path to perfect Enlightenment. There we also find predictions of the Enlightenment of Bodhisattvas in some far distant future lifetime. In both the Mahayana and the Vajrayana scriptures there are many references to groups of individuals being born together again and again.
In Tibetan Buddhism we find the tradition of the tulku, the rebirth of a particular spiritual teacher. The abbots of monasteries are often considered to be reborn in this way, and once an abbot dies his regent governs the monastery until the new incarnation is discovered, usually by finding a child, born at the right time, who can select religious implements owned by the old abbot from a collection of similar objects. Also in the Tibetan tradition we find meditation practices that prepare the practitioner for the journey through the bardo, the intermediate period between one birth and the next.
What actually happens when we die? A fascinating account of the dying process is to be found in the Bardo Thodol or Tibetan Book of the Dead. This describes the entire process of death, the period in the intermediate state, and eventual rebirth.
At the moment of death, the text explains, a blinding experience of clear light fills our consciousness. This ’vision of Reality’ offers us an opportunity to free ourselves from the tendencies that will otherwise lead to rebirth. If the light is too much for us, we then become conscious that we are separated from the physical body and now exist in an immaterial ’mind body rather like the body experienced in dreams. Next come a series of brilliant visions, rich in light, sound, and beautifully peaceful forms of Buddhas. If our consciousness remains with the peaceful forms of Buddhas-and we are able to recognize them as the liberated nature of our own mind-then we will be drawn on until we come, once again, face to face with Reality. If we fail to ’recognize’ these peaceful Buddhas and become attracted by the relatively dull visions of rebirth in the six ’realms’ of existence, a new phase unfolds. The attraction of the dull lights reflects the domination of the tendencies, some positive and some negative, that will eventually lead to rebirth.
Next come a variety of visions, many of which are of a terrifying nature. They are terrifying because Reality is frightening to those who are strongly attached to a fixed way or being. However, even in this phase, liberation is possible. We have only to realize that these visions are a distortion of Reality caused by habitual tendencies. After a series of visions in which the unconscious tendencies take an ever stronger hold over our mind, we start to move toward the place of rebirth, and eventually see our parents copulating. If one is attracted to the female, one will be reborn male; if one is drawn to the male, then one will be reborn female. As we try to squeeze between the two parents we fall into unconsciousness and enter the womb. After a period of time we are reborn-but in what sort of state?
Since our future birth is determined by the tendencies that are established or strengthened in the course of this life, the way we act in this life is directly responsible for the type of life that we will experience in the future. The correspondence between an act and its effect on the individual’s future birth is therefore of crucial importance. Buddhist ethics is based on this correspondence. A good - or ’skilful’-act is one that gives rise to a happy future birth; unskilful actions lead to a painful future birth. Through our actions in this life we literally create the worlds in which we are to be born.
Normally, it seems, beings are born in very much the same sort of world, and state, as that in which they died. The habits and tendencies associated with the previous life are generally strong enough to ensure that they will ’choose’ to return to a similar way of being. For human beings, however, who are able to exercise a high degree of choice during their life, the situation can be quite complex. Some people seem to act rather like animals, having little self consciousness and being interested only in sleep, food, and sex. Such people may well be on their way to an animal rebirth. Others may be refining and purifying their being and, as a result of developing new tendencies, may be reborn in the higher realms of the devas, or ’gods’. A life dominated by acts of cruel violence and blatant disregard of the fundamental empathy between human beings could lead to rebirth in a hell realm. If a strong neurotic tendency is indulged continuously, then that person could be reborn as a hungry ghost’, always craving and yet never satisfied. A life dominated by aggressive competitiveness will lead to rebirth in a realm of warring gods.
The principle that habitual activities can create a world is of course observable within this life, at least on the psychological level. A generous person develops an openness and expansiveness in his or her nature, while continuous miserly actions give rise to a closed and defensive personality. But Buddhism takes this principle beyond the level of psychology and applies it to the individual as he or she passes from one physical existence to the next.
Broadly speaking, a being can be reborn in one of six realms: the human realm, the realm of the gods, that of animals, hungry ghosts, titans, or denizens of hell. In none of these realms is life eternal: the principle of impermanence holds true for them all. The worlds of gods and humans are said to be happy, but the remaining four are said to be painful. To be reborn as a human being is considered to be the ideal so far as spiritual life is concerned; the gods are far too happy to go searching for the highest happiness, while those in hell are too preoccupied and weakened by their suffering to raise themselves higher.
The Buddhist principle of rebirth can be summarized thus: Our actions in this life modify the unconscious tendency-patterns inherited from our previous life. We experience these tendencies as a sense of self which survives the death of the physical body. After a certain period of time these tendencies manifest in a new form by combining with physical factors. The process of life, death, and rebirth continues unendingly.
This is the framework in which the spiritual life is lived. The individual thus tries to bring conscious awareness to deeper and deeper levels of the mind, thereby liberating himself from the dominance of unconscious tendencies and the fixed experience of selfhood that they produce. By loosening the knot of unconscious tendencies we can become free; the unending cycle of rebirths comes not exactly to an end, but dissolves into an experience of Reality which is beyond space and time.

Orgasm and childbirth

Orgasm and childbirth are not two words you expect to find in the same sentence. But, as implausible as it may sound, increasing numbers of mothers are signing up to the Orgasmic Birth movement. Childbirth, they claim, far from being a painful ordeal to endure, can be as ecstatic and pleasurable as the moment of conception itself. Now, with the release of two new documentary films in America depicting orgasmic births, and websites awash with first-hand accounts from women claiming similar experiences, are we about to lift the lid on this taboo?

Isobel Patterson, 31, a lawyer from Brighton, gave birth to her first baby, Amelia, last December, and is convinced she experienced an orgasmic birth, witnessed by her husband, James. She remembers it as the most pleasurable day of her life.

I am well aware how many women reading this will open their eyes wide in disbelief and dismiss my experience as some sort of exhaustion-induced fantasy. Before it happened to me, I would probably have done the same. Confessing to my friends, who have, in most cases, experienced agonising 10- or 20-hour labours, that mine was the most enjoyable seven hours of my life has been tough enough. But when I add that it was accompanied by an orgasm, I find myself being made to feel in some way strange or deluded. It’s better to keep the whole experience to myself.

Like most mothers-to-be, I was terrified by the idea of birth. A typically pragmatic lawyer, I had decided on a hospital birth with every painkiller at my disposal, even before I became pregnant. I couldn’t see the point in bravely trying to go it alone when medical science could offer me so many options to make it easier.

As my pregnancy progressed without any complications, however, my feelings changed. I began researching more natural, alternative methods. I plumped for a doula. I loved the idea of a woman who would come to my home when I went into labour and was totally independent of the hospital, but experienced enough at delivering babies to help me through it. (Doulas, unlike midwives, don't assist in the actual delivery or provide medical care, but act as professional coaches who offer emotional and practical support during childbirth.)

When my contractions started at midnight, it was my doula whom I called. I was a week overdue and wanted someone who wasn’t emotionally involved with me. My mother and husband were sleeping, and I decided not to wake them up. I knew they would start panicking. But my doula was calm, relaxed and hugely positive about how wonderful the experience was going to be. I spent three hours on all fours in my living room before my husband and mother even woke up.

As my contractions intensified and I got closer to giving birth, I remember starting to feel the sensations. It was the most incredible feeling that began in my pelvis and rippled through my entire lower body. It was wave upon wave of what can only be described as pure pleasure. My pelvis began pushing downwards involuntarily and my legs were trembling as I experienced a prolonged orgasm that lasted what seemed like hours, although during birth your concept of time is very different.

I know now that it was probably more like a series of orgasms over an hour. My husband said afterwards that I was shouting, “Oh my God, it’s so beautiful, it’s like making love”, over and over again. I was trembling and smiling. The doula said my clitoris was pulsating and I kept closing my eyes in ecstasy with each passing wave as the baby moved downwards. My husband was open- mouthed. He didn’t quite know what to say. He said later that it was obvious what was going on.

My baby arrived, without any pain relief, three hours later, and my recovery was incredibly quick because I did not tear or need stitches. I felt wonderful, but was slightly confused and embarrassed about what I had experienced. I also felt somehow guilty that I had felt something usually associated with sexual intercourse during the birth of my daughter. But when I went online, I found hundreds of women blogging about similar experiences.

After the birth, I was so excited that I wanted to share what had happened with friends, but their reactions quickly taught me that this was probably something I should think of as my own private but wonderful experience and keep it to myself. It’s sad that women are too embarrassed to talk openly about orgasmic birth, but hopefully there will be a time in the future when we are more open-minded about our sexuality.

Michel Odent, an obstetrician who revolutionised childbirth by introducing the concept of birthing pools and author of The Functions of the Orgasms (Pinter & Martin £7.99)

People used to think female orgasms during sexual intercourse didn’t exist. I believe that, in years to come, orgasm during childbirth will be recognised as a natural part of the birthing experience. The idea of orgasmic birth has been backed up by anecdotal evidence from thousands of women. In my latest book, I have described the foetal ejection reflex — an orgasmic state women reach during birth that helps with the rapid delivery of the baby. During labour, there is a huge hormonal change in the body, with increased prolactin, beta-endorphins and oxytocin being released. These molecules of ecstasy help to push the baby down into the birth canal.

Sheila Kitzinger, a social anthropologist specialising in birth and author of The New Pregnancy and Childbirth (Dorling Kindersley, £20)

I’ve been talking about this for years. Though asking people to “see” it is a bit much — how do you know if you’ve witnessed it?

An orgasmic birth needn’t mean you’re climbing the walls and screaming. The problem is that birth is clock-watched and managed, often aggressively, so that women can’t be spontaneous. When a woman is in labour, and has people telling her what to do and how to breathe, she can’t be spontaneous. But when she can, giving birth can be absolutely amazing — warm waves of passion. When the baby’s head reaches the perineum it stimulates an erotic response known as Ferguson’s reflex. That is, if it isn’t destroyed by her being told how and when to push.

Maggie Howell, founder and director of Natal Hypnotherapy

For the majority of women, birth is an ordeal to “get through”. However, for a small handful of women, birth can be an ecstatic, empowering and even orgasmic experience. If a woman feels completely safe, relaxed, confident and trusting in her body, then her experience can be pleasurable and enjoyable.

The process of giving birth involves the release of many of the same hormones and physical changes that take place when making love. It is therefore possible that women experience orgasm during birth.

Just when a chap gets comfy in a long-term relationship, along comes the day he dreads - when she can propose

Today tradition permits women to pop the question to men. This custom has dubious origins. In 5th-century Ireland, St Bridget, then the Mother Superior of a nunnery, demonstrated her ignorance by complaining to St Patrick that men took too long to propose, and that women should have an opportunity. Refusal hit the chap in his pocket to the tune of a 100-punt fine, which sounds like a small fortune

But this is small fry compared with how much a modern guy can lose if he says “yes”. A long-term relationship with a woman who doesn't display signs of borderline personality disorder can be fantastic. It offers companionship of the “you and me against the world - we attack at dawn” kind, foible-driven sex, a pleasant-smelling home, admission to your social set's “couples only” dining club, and the cool confidence needed when dealing with work experience girls in backless dresses.

In the 21st century it's not uncommon for couples to go as far as procreating and/or mortgaging without tying the knot. We men love to jam ourselves into a cosy little rut - witness the indentation of our butts upon the sofa - so the functional long-term relationship is pretty much an ideal situation. But wedlock comes with financial obligation. The bottom line is: if you're married, she can have half your money. Maybe more.

“I expect that more women than ever will be proposing in 2008,” says Dr Sheri Jacobson, a relationship counsellor at Harley Therapy in London. “I think that attitudes are shifting and there's more room for women to assert themselves.” How much more room can there be? “Women might seize on this chance to propose if they were already entertaining the idea and either want to get things moving quicker, use it to express their deep affection, or feel they want to take charge.”

But don't forget the real reason. “They may also have in mind that it might make for a good story when recounting a proposal to friends.”

When it comes to matters of the heart I'm a complete coward. As are most men. The most successful cowards operate by avoiding terrifying situations - such as being proposed to - before they even arise. So here are some sure-fire ways to avoid today's doomsday scenario.

Preparation is key: before you read this article you should already have employed some short and long-term tactics, such as bonding with her creepy stepfather over a shared admiration of the radio host Jon Gaunt, or insisting that easier trips to Ikea is no good reason to buy a car.

Avoid Wales: the alarm bells should have started ringing the second that she suggested going on a romantic sojourn, but girlfriends bang on so much about overpriced hotel breaks that you could be forgiven for missing a trick here. However, if she has booked you into the Lake Vyrnwy Hotel, you're screwed: the hotel is offering a special package today whereby if you say “yes”, it will give the pair of you a complimentary bottle of grand cru (they don't say which grand cru, but it is Wales). “However...” continues the blurb, ominously, “if he says no, burly hotel staff will escort him from the premises and present you with a cuddly Welsh dragon, a box of tissues and some chocolates to comfort you.” She still gets the bottle of grand cru - although maybe the hotel will switch it to a sparkling rosé, the husband-famished modern girl's favourite tipple, instead.

Head to Greece: the Greeks believe it's bad luck to marry during a leap year, which may be enough to put the notion out of her superstitious little head.

Oversee all activities: considering that you can't even cower at work, where colleagues will be more than happy to conspire in your emasculation, you'll have to go all-out to find some place where she can't pop the question. You are not even safe taking your nephews to the local branch of Games Workshop for a few rounds of Warhammer - she will get the shop assistant nerds to let her write “Will you marry me?” underneath all their area of effect-damage templates (ask nephews). Only a modern “high-class” orgy will dampen her plans - the last thing she wants is for your (inevitable, gutless) acceptance to be celebrated by a round of applause from a bunch of naked “heedonists”, as Larry David calls them. Don't admit that it's an orgy either. When she brings up the fact that everyone's getting it on, say: “Sex party? What are you talking about? These are my friends from university.” Then offer her a bowl of fusty peanuts.

Definitely avoid soap operas: last time round, in 2004, Stephanie Smith won a competition organised by The Sun and Nescafé Gold Blend. The prize was a prerecorded proposal, introduced by Cat Deeley, that went out during the commercials in Coronation Street. A bewildered Adam Roll said “yes” - after blithering “What have you done?” - and a Sun man bearing champagne was knocking on the door straight away.

Avoid even football: if you watch Corrie with your girlfriend, your fate is probably sealed. But you aren't safe even at a Scottish football match. Carrie Gattens used the scoreboard at Celtic Park in Glasgow to propose to her boyfriend, Celtic fan Gary Blease. “Gary ... will you marry me?” came up on the giant plasma screens. “I can't say I answered straightaway,” murmured a sheepish Blease afterwards. He eventually said “Yes”, of course.

Scorched-earth policy: a friend romances by the maxim: “When it comes to women, always do the exact opposite of what you think you should do.” So if you want to get out of her proposal, say “yes”. Seize her in a manly embrace. Present her with your grandmother's engagement ring and tell her that it's only a stop-gap until you get to Paris (to buy a “proper one”), but that she can keep it anyway. Get Vivienne Westwood to make you up four swords with her orb on the hilt for your ushers. Book Skibo castle. Your fiancée will undoubtedly call it all off, citing that the relationship was so “intense” that it must also be “destructive”.

Don't count on a silver lining: you won't even have the advantage of not having to shell out for a ring. She will take advantage of the numb state that will envelop you when you realise that you've been had and could do nothing about it. And besides, you may be surprised to know that a tradition dreamt up by other chicks doesn't insist that the woman buy the ring. Suzanne Kelly proposed to her husband Eamon during what would otherwise have been a magical trip to Florence in 1992. “After he recovered, we found a jeweller and he bought me a classic diamond solitaire,” chirruped Suzanne, smugly.

If this doesn't work: there's only one thing more unstoppable than a modern British woman, and that's a modern Russian woman. Immediately arrange a business trip to Moscow. Shortly before the pricey and unnecessary engagement party, begin sending letters to yourself with the address in Russian (just put all the “Rs” the wrong way around). Simple text on the letters inside should read “I cannot stop thinking of the way you are not evil or a semifunctioning alcoholic. If you do not marry me, my brothers who have tattoos of partisans riding boars will kill you.” Russian women, highly educated by the former communist system, have a wonderful sense of humour forged in hardship and cooled in frozen vodka, and dress like transsexual prostitutes.Even the type of woman who proposes today - who, according to Dr Jacobson, “is likely to be confident, assertive and risktaking ... and, psychologically, likely to be resilient, since it takes a lot of courage to go against widespread practice”, will realise that she doesn't stand a chance and plump for some beta male (“he's so calm”) who works in a Majestic wine store.

But all this sniggering is really just to cover up the fact that, in truth, all proposals are made by women. “I haven't come across any instances where a woman has formally proposed,” says Dr Jacobson, “though I have heard of women inducing a proposal. In these cases it has been an explicit nudge for the man to get on with proposing.”

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship of more than a couple of years knows this. After a couple of dates, she works out whether you're boyfriend material (you usually are) and can be forced to watch the Hollyoaks omnibus. After 12 months, she decides that it's time for you to cohabit. And after two to three years, it's a ring or you're out.

A man proposing is merely an illusion of control, and getting down on one knee a cruel irony. Women have always made the decision to get married. It's just that on February 29, we have to acknowledge it completely.